Tag Archives: reality tv

3 Is The Perfect Number (To “Creep”)

25 Feb

Aside from my obvious obsession with the number “3,” I realized recently that there is a reason 3 is perfect in a going-out (aka “creeping”) setting.

M-V-P: Mike, Vinny, Pauly

First, let me refresh your memory about “creeping.”  ”Creeping” is a term that came to popular use through the reality TV show, Jersey Shore,” where M-V-P (Mike the “Situation,” Vinny and Pauly D) go out, meet girls and bring them home with them.  The whole process is considered creeping because though the girls out there may know where they will be or what they will be doing, they have no idea that guys like M-V-P will be slowly creeping their way into a “good situation,” if you get what I’m saying.

Of course, “creeping” isn’t exclusive to only men.  Girls can creep too.   Remember, last Halloween?  How I talked about the Creepers of Halloween?

Well, I’ve begun to see a trend in the pack number of “creepers” I find at bars, lounges and clubs.  Previously, it had always been a two-person tag team.  You wing for me and I wing for you.  However, in recent days it seemed going in a 3-person pack garnered the best results.

Let me explain.

As with M-V-P in the “Jersey Shore,” you need your wing(wo)man when you go out.  You need someone to hype you up while you pretend to be modest and not self-centered.  You also need someone to help you break the ice a bit and “diffuse the grenade” as The Situation would like to call it.

However, if you go with just one wing, once you obtain your target, what’s going to happen with the wing(wo)man?  And, even if you’re the one winging it for your friend, you still want to get some action at the end of the night.  (Don’t lie.  You do.)

Therefore, you need to go with 2 other friends, so when one of the three lands a man/woman, you still have another wing(wo)man to rely on… or just a friend to chat with till your prospect arrives.  (More than three will become difficult as people tend to shy away from huge packs.)

Take these examples from a month ago:

Friday night. I went to a birthday party with just another friend.  We arrived, settled in and almost immediately honed in on our respective targets.  First I winged for my friend and then my friend winged for me.  At the end of the night, I realized that my target had no brains, no creativity, no banter—just good looks.  Hence, I got bored and turned my full attention to helping my friend “seal the deal.”  Unfortunately for me, once I accomplished my job and got the two of them matched up, I had nothing to do.  Yeah, I could have talked to a few more potentials, but the bar really didn’t give me much choice.  I spent the rest of the time, watching the Knicks vs. Hawks game on TV.  (Not my idea of a fun night out…)

Saturday night. I went to Hotel Gansevoort on Park Ave with two other friends.  It worked out perfectly because while one of us flirted with the opposite sex, the other two kept each other company and scoured the area for potentials.  Basically, we always had a wing with us and never had to succumb to boredom or creepy encounters.  (Wait, I take that back.  We did get the double-dose of creepiness when one creep tried winging for another creep.)  Nevertheless, the night ended with everyone being a winner***!

So, like I said at the beginning of this post, 3 is the perfect number to creep.  The weekend is here, so go out, bring your two friends, and have fun!

***Disclaimer: this post is not meant to be dirty—GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTER, PEOPLE!

“Like, Seriously?” MTV Bringing Back “Shore” Drama

6 Aug

As many of you may already know, the second season of “Jersey Shore” had arrived in homes last Thursday.  The premier was ehhh, but the trailer for the rest of the season?  F-ing awesome!  However, I don’t really want to talk about the premier.  I want to talk about last night’s episode.  

I call this segment: “Like, seriously?” [Courtesy of Angelina, the "b*tch of Long Island" and the one on the show that no one likes.]  

"Like, seriously?" - Jersey Shore's Angelina

 

Like, seriously?  MTV, you really had to bring back Angelina?  Like, seriously.  She was in, what, 2 episodes last summer and frankly has no “real” drama to bring to Miami.  

And, like, seriously? The so-called “drama” in the last two episodes seem so contrived.  I almost feel like the authenticity (if there were any to begin with) of the characters on the “Jersey Shore” is lost due to the feeling of “faking-it” on set.  I mean, perhaps, these people really act like this normally.  Yet, since I’ve seen them in so many publicity events after Season 1, I just think that everything they’re doing now is even more for TV than before.  Plus, Angelina kept saying in the premier that she wanted a “second chance.”  Second chance for what, Angelina?  To get celebrity status because the rest of the crew did and you didn’t? 

Jersey Shore’s Snooki with her $375 sunglasses

 

Oh and like, seriously? $375 for a pair of crystal-covered sunglasses, Snooki.  $375?  Really???  

JWOWW, a sex shop is your favorite place to pick out “clubbing” clothes?  OMG!

Jersey Shore boys matching

 

And, do all the boys have to wear the same outfit when out?  Black tank and jeans?  What is this, a ghetto boy band?  Like, seriously?  

But, like, seriously.  Although I don’t really believe the “reality” of this TV series, I am still excited to see what’s going to happen.  The teaser for the rest of the season included Angelina and Snooki punching the crap out of each other and JWOWW and Sammi in a hair-pulling match.  Can’t wait!  

“Jersey Shore” – Thursdays, 10/9c.  

Other posts related to “Jersey Shore”:  

•The New Reality Drama to Watch: “Millionaire Matchmaker”

4 Feb

BravoTV - Tues 10/9c

After the ending of Jersey Shore, I needed a new reality TV series to distract me from my drama-less life.  While surfing channels, I came upon Millionaire Matchmaker.  I’ve heard of this show before.  It’s about Patti, the reknowned matchmaker in LA, syncing millionaires up with potential dates.  Most of these millionaires are well-off, but socially awkward.  Par exemple, a child-star truly believed he was the sh1t of LA.  He dressed like an old man and had the personality of cement—hard and uncomfortable.  Well, Patty saw right away that this guy would run into a big problem when meeting women because he was condescending and too d-baggy.  (She was right!)  At the end, he couldn’t handle the wild, crazy, and amateur-porn-star-ish girl Patti set him up with.

However, all those episodes did not attract me to the show.  What caught my attention was the ridiculous drama between Patti and one of her clients, Shauna.  Shauna is a millionairess who is a cougar (aka, she prefers young beautiful men in their twenties than someone her own age).  Eventually, she realized that the young men would leave her after dating her for some time, so she went back to Patti to find “true love”.  In last night’s new episode, she agreed to go on a date with someone older than herself.  She’s 47… and the man Patti set her up with was 51… a very good looking, muscular and tall man.  She knew exactly what he looked like, but as soon as they’re about to go on their first date, she FLIPS OUT, running like a monkey back to her suite and crying in outrage that she couldn’t believe Patti set her up with “a man that could be my grandfather.”  Well, honey, you are not that young yourself!

Shauna Melts Down

Notice, to the right, a picture of Shauna.  Now, you might think her eyes have grown to size of plums and are shooting darts at the camera because she is mad at Patti and her failed-to-launch date… but, she’s not.  Her eyes are like that in every single shot because she is plastic-surgeried out!  She constantly look stunned, regardless of her true feelings.  For example, when she had her meltdown, her pissed-off angry face looked exactly like the horny face she had on when she saw a 20-something hottie take off his clothes…

Speaking of plastic surgeries, 23-year-old Heidi Montag of The Hills, recently got 10 procedures in one sitting and “almost died” in the process.  She now looks 30+ years old.  No joke.  (More details here .)

Anyways, this show is HILARIOUS~!  So, go watch!  Every Tues, 10/9c on Bravo!

•23-Year-Old Heidi Montag Post-Plastic Surgery Looks At Least 30!

3 Feb

Recently, Heidi Montag, one of the cast members of The Hills underwent 10 plastic surgeries in one visit.  Ridiculous!  Now, the 23-year-old looks over 30!  Why would you do that to yourself???  And, where was Spencer Pratt during all this?  Although Heidi is no super celebrity, she is still a young woman in the spotlight that’s giving young girls the wrong idea.

Heidi Montag Post 10 Plastic Surgeries

She had:

  • Mini brow lift
  • Botox in forehead and frown area
  • Nose job revision
  • Fat injections in cheeks, nasolabial folds and lips
  • Chin reduction
  • Neck liposuction
  • Ears pinned back
  • Breast augmentation revision
  • Liposuction on waist, hips, outer and inner thighs
  • Buttock augmentation

Apparently, she told the reporter that she wanted to get cup size H, for Heidi.  Seriously?!?!??  Wow.  I don’t even know how to defend in with a quote like that…

Now she looks unnatural, uncomfortable and just plain not as pretty as she was before!  Crazy…

•Don’t Lie. You Love “The Situation”

12 Jan

Who doesn’t love The Situation?

(Airs Thursdays @ 10PM EST on MTV)

The new hot show on everyone’s lips and minds isn’t Gossip Girl or How I Met Your Mother anymore.  No. No.  It’s Jersey Shore, MTV’s reality TV show where a group of random young guidos and guidettes spend a summer together at the Jersey Shore.  Every single moment is full of drama: fighting and b*tching. Higly entertaining!

Highlights thus far:

  • J-WOWW cheats on her BF with Pauly D
  • Snooki gets punched in the face by a DUDE
  • Sammi and Ronnie hooked up and is now coupled up
  • Angelina leaves the show after she disrespects the boss.  (She told him he could either talk to her in the bathroom or not talk to her at all. GROSS!)
  • Vinny is still the smallest dude on the show.  Perhaps, GTL (gym-tan-laundry) isn’t such a bad idea, Vinny…
  • Mike, The Situation, continues to put himself out there with his motto: GLT and his tagline: “you love The Situation!”

For full episodes, click here.

Alright, time for me to get my game on… GTL time (minus the T)!

STAY FRESH!

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