3 Is The Perfect Number (To “Creep”)

Aside from my obvious obsession with the number “3,” I realized recently that there is a reason 3 is perfect in a going-out (aka “creeping”) setting.

M-V-P: Mike, Vinny, Pauly

First, let me refresh your memory about “creeping.”  ”Creeping” is a term that came to popular use through the reality TV show, Jersey Shore,” where M-V-P (Mike the “Situation,” Vinny and Pauly D) go out, meet girls and bring them home with them.  The whole process is considered creeping because though the girls out there may know where they will be or what they will be doing, they have no idea that guys like M-V-P will be slowly creeping their way into a “good situation,” if you get what I’m saying.

Of course, “creeping” isn’t exclusive to only men.  Girls can creep too.   Remember, last Halloween?  How I talked about the Creepers of Halloween?

Well, I’ve begun to see a trend in the pack number of “creepers” I find at bars, lounges and clubs.  Previously, it had always been a two-person tag team.  You wing for me and I wing for you.  However, in recent days it seemed going in a 3-person pack garnered the best results.

Let me explain.

As with M-V-P in the “Jersey Shore,” you need your wing(wo)man when you go out.  You need someone to hype you up while you pretend to be modest and not self-centered.  You also need someone to help you break the ice a bit and “diffuse the grenade” as The Situation would like to call it.

However, if you go with just one wing, once you obtain your target, what’s going to happen with the wing(wo)man?  And, even if you’re the one winging it for your friend, you still want to get some action at the end of the night.  (Don’t lie.  You do.)

Therefore, you need to go with 2 other friends, so when one of the three lands a man/woman, you still have another wing(wo)man to rely on… or just a friend to chat with till your prospect arrives.  (More than three will become difficult as people tend to shy away from huge packs.)

Take these examples from a month ago:

Friday night. I went to a birthday party with just another friend.  We arrived, settled in and almost immediately honed in on our respective targets.  First I winged for my friend and then my friend winged for me.  At the end of the night, I realized that my target had no brains, no creativity, no banter—just good looks.  Hence, I got bored and turned my full attention to helping my friend “seal the deal.”  Unfortunately for me, once I accomplished my job and got the two of them matched up, I had nothing to do.  Yeah, I could have talked to a few more potentials, but the bar really didn’t give me much choice.  I spent the rest of the time, watching the Knicks vs. Hawks game on TV.  (Not my idea of a fun night out…)

Saturday night. I went to Hotel Gansevoort on Park Ave with two other friends.  It worked out perfectly because while one of us flirted with the opposite sex, the other two kept each other company and scoured the area for potentials.  Basically, we always had a wing with us and never had to succumb to boredom or creepy encounters.  (Wait, I take that back.  We did get the double-dose of creepiness when one creep tried winging for another creep.)  Nevertheless, the night ended with everyone being a winner***!

So, like I said at the beginning of this post, 3 is the perfect number to creep.  The weekend is here, so go out, bring your two friends, and have fun!

***Disclaimer: this post is not meant to be dirty—GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTER, PEOPLE!

•Reflections 8/14/09: 3 fun(ny) TV shows

I’ve come to realize that everyday, every second, and even every moment can be a learning experience, so why not share 3 things I’ve “realized”/”learned” this week (and, hopefully, every week from hereon out)?!

In this first post, I’m reflecting on the TV shows that defined my life this past week.  Yes, I literally just watched DVR-ed shows all week long.  Not going to lie, sometimes my life mirrors these shows…

• “The Big Bang Theory” is a fantastic nerd show.  It truly pleases the nerd within every single person.  To be honest, 90% of the time, I have no idea what these characters are referring to… but regardless, it’s funny!  Favorite character: Sheldon.  Hilarious! One great quote: “Are you proud of yourself?”  Asks a friend after Sheldon blatantly hurts a mutual friend’s feelings.  “Yes!” Sheldon replies, flabbergasted his friend would even ask such a rhetorical question.  He’s like the nerdy version of Barney Stinson (who is AWESOME, by the way), except that he doesn’t get girls, but just adds so much character to the show!  So, to satisfy the nerd within, watch “The Big Bang Theory”.  (Mondays @ 9:30p ET, CBS, new episodes start 9/21)

• Speaking of Barney Stinson, I can still watch episodes of “How I Met Your Mother” over and over again.  The cast of characters, the storylines, and the ridiculous Barney-isms (All you Barney fans, you know what I’m talking about!) are so SO good!  I literally walk around the office all day saying “SUIT UP!” or “Legen—WAIT FOR IT—dary!”  Seriously, if you haven’t jumped on the HIMYM bandwagon, you better get on it!  GO! GO! GO!  (Mondays @ 8:00p ET, CBS, new episodes start 9/21)

• If you secretly wish you could hack any electronic system and create devices out of nothing or steal a famous painting in the middle of a crowded museum, well, then you should watch “Leverage” because doing those things is ILLEGAL!  (But watching isn’t!)  “Leverage” on TNT is about a group of professional (yes, professional) crooks who steal from the corrupt and give back to those in need… basically a modern day Robin Hood story.  Each episode is full of comical banter and interesting ploys.  It’s like watching a new version of Ocean’s Eleven through Thirteen every week!  (Wednesdays @ 9:00p ET, TNT)

Conclusion?  I am a nerd at heart that is also super AWESOME, who might possibly possess a secret and deadly skill…  dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnn.