This past weekend, the youth celebrated a night of candies and trick-or-treating, while the rest of us celebrated a night of debauchery.  Let’s just say, the women who have been dreaming to unleash their inner vixens and the men who have been waiting to see their fantasies come to life, all got their money’s worth on old Hallow’s eve.

I saw plenty of slutty whatevers: slutty schoolgirl, slutty nurse, slutty princess, slutty robber, slutty cop… you get my point.  I also so plenty of regularly dressed dudes (claiming to be “recessionists”), but mainly ogling the crap out of the slutty whatevers running around.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with the scantily clad women on Halloween.  It’s pretty hilarious and awesome.  What other holiday allows you to cross-dress, slut-up, and go all-out crazy without an ounce of judgment?  Hell, the crazier you are, the more praise you get!  That’s what I call a perfect and beautiful alignment of inner desires and outer exhibitions.

So, to sum up, 3 key facts about Halloween:

1. Fantasies do come true (at least once a year).
2. The crazier the costume, the better the reception.
3. The only night where horror and hilarity mix as one.

Okay, back in July, I had decided to complete at least 3 of my tasks on my “to do” list by September… well, it’s October, and I’m sure you’re dying to know whether I have completed any of them.  To those that know me well, I respond: ”I TRIED MY BEST!”  To those that know me too well: “I SERIOUSLY DID!”  The point is: I have not completed those tasks; however, I did complete another one on my list (just not the one I had earmarked for September completion…).  Anyways, I went to Atlantic City!  Played some Blackjack.  Lost $200 (who said all beginners have luck?!?!  Liars!)  Fun, nevertheless.

Since I didn’t complete any of the goals I set out to complete, I am going to to make it happen by December 31!

As a reminder, the tasks were:

1. Read a classic novel
2. Go to a nice jazz club
3. Publish a short story (or instead, get a book deal—more details to come later)

For the complete list, click here.

Wish me luck!

On the first true day of sweet release from h—I mean, work—I took a romantic, yet strictly platonic, stroll with a friend through Central Park.  The leaves had begun to fall and the weather was quite temperate (slightly chilly under the shades, but still in the 60°s).  We had spent the majority of the afternoon talking over our life choices and our decisions to leave the firms we had worked at for several years.  Topics changed to relationships and personal ambitions as we explored the park through new eyes—the eyes of the happily unemployed.  However, just as we were enjoying our newfound freedom, we came upon some “interesting” sights…

1.  Runner in super short and quite revealing shorts.  My friend and I were deeply involved in our discussions about interpersonal relationships when both of our jaws dropped due to the sight in front of us.  A young man (yes, MAN) with super short shorts that had deep slits on either side, ran by.  Normally, I would not judge, but these slits were so high, the back parts of his shorts flapped like NYC pigeons gunning after crumbs.  We saw both of his butt cheeks… fully… multiple times… so much we had to advert our eyes from embarrassment.  If you’re one of those runners, please be courteous and refrain from mooning passerbys during your exercise routine!

2.  Marriage vows exchanged on the bridge.  Beautiful soft golden rays cascaded down the side of the tree as these two lovebirds exchanged their vows on the bridge.  Absolutely beautiful!  What was disturbing though, was the lack of respect other people showed for this ceremony.  During the marriage vows (which only took about 10min), 20+ people stomped past the couple.  I swear, the bridesmaids and groomsmen looked like they wanted to pummel some New Yorkers.  I can’t blame them.  My friend and I both felt embarassed by our fellow strollers’ blatant disrespect for the couple.  Seriously New Yorkers, if you have the time to leisurely stroll through Central Park on a Wednesday at 3pm, you definitely have enough time to simply wait 10 minutes and let the couple enjoy their moment in peace!

3.  Creepy red-haired man appearing in every nook and cranny we explored.  Perhaps I have seen one too many “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” episodes, but the first 3 times I saw this red-haired man appear in front of us when we made a turn through the woods, I disregarded my discomfort as paranoia.  However, when I saw him staring at us after we clearly made an 180 to avoid him and yet he found us, well, I couldn’t help but be extra cautious.  At one point, I wanted to bust out my ninja skills (which is AWESOME!, by the way).  Of course, I restrained myself and we just left the park instead.  But really, red-haired man, stop being so openly creepy next time and at least pretend you’re there to enjoy the scenary…