On the first true day of sweet release from h—I mean, work—I took a romantic, yet strictly platonic, stroll with a friend through Central Park. The leaves had begun to fall and the weather was quite temperate (slightly chilly under the shades, but still in the 60°s). We had spent the majority of the afternoon talking over our life choices and our decisions to leave the firms we had worked at for several years. Topics changed to relationships and personal ambitions as we explored the park through new eyes—the eyes of the happily unemployed. However, just as we were enjoying our newfound freedom, we came upon some “interesting” sights…
1. Runner in super short and quite revealing shorts. My friend and I were deeply involved in our discussions about interpersonal relationships when both of our jaws dropped due to the sight in front of us. A young man (yes, MAN) with super short shorts that had deep slits on either side, ran by. Normally, I would not judge, but these slits were so high, the back parts of his shorts flapped like NYC pigeons gunning after crumbs. We saw both of his butt cheeks… fully… multiple times… so much we had to advert our eyes from embarrassment. If you’re one of those runners, please be courteous and refrain from mooning passerbys during your exercise routine!
2. Marriage vows exchanged on the bridge. Beautiful soft golden rays cascaded down the side of the tree as these two lovebirds exchanged their vows on the bridge. Absolutely beautiful! What was disturbing though, was the lack of respect other people showed for this ceremony. During the marriage vows (which only took about 10min), 20+ people stomped past the couple. I swear, the bridesmaids and groomsmen looked like they wanted to pummel some New Yorkers. I can’t blame them. My friend and I both felt embarassed by our fellow strollers’ blatant disrespect for the couple. Seriously New Yorkers, if you have the time to leisurely stroll through Central Park on a Wednesday at 3pm, you definitely have enough time to simply wait 10 minutes and let the couple enjoy their moment in peace!
3. Creepy red-haired man appearing in every nook and cranny we explored. Perhaps I have seen one too many “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” episodes, but the first 3 times I saw this red-haired man appear in front of us when we made a turn through the woods, I disregarded my discomfort as paranoia. However, when I saw him staring at us after we clearly made an 180 to avoid him and yet he found us, well, I couldn’t help but be extra cautious. At one point, I wanted to bust out my ninja skills (which is AWESOME!, by the way). Of course, I restrained myself and we just left the park instead. But really, red-haired man, stop being so openly creepy next time and at least pretend you’re there to enjoy the scenary…
